Carlos
by FaithinBones
Summary: Caroline asks Booth to do her a favor. This story takes place in season 10. No spoilers that I know of.
1. Chapter 1

This takes place in Season 10 and is AU.

This is for MJ and for Mary C. who named the focus of this story.

A/N: there is a little French in the story but I translated it at the end of the chapter. It will make sense when you see it.

I don't own Bones.

Ooooooooooooooooooo

Entering Booth's office, Caroline stopped and studied the man she considered a part of her family and a close friend. "Cher', I have a problem and I need you to help me with it."

His dark thoughts shattered, Booth looked up and smiled, a tinge of sadness never leaving his face. "Sure, what is it Caroline?"

After she entered the room, closed the door behind her and sat down on the chair across from Booth."Well . . . I have a family problem to be truthful and I need you to help me with it. I don't really have anyone else I can count on."

Concerned for his friend, Booth leaned forward on his desk. "Is your daughter okay? Are you alright?"

This was the reason she loved this man. He had a big heart and he never forgoet her daughter. "Yeah Cher', she's fine. That's not the family problem I'm having. My cousin Ted Boudreaux wants to go hunting out of the state of Louisiana and well . . . he needs someone to go with him. None of his friends can go because it's a last minute vacation and he has a family obligation to fulfill while he's gone. I thought you could take a week or two and go with him and maybe keep him from blowing his damn head off . . . He's kind of a calamite'."

"Caroline, what makes you think I have time to go with him?" Shaking his head, Booth protested, "Besides I don't hunt anymore."

Shrugging her shoulders, Caroline leaned forward and placed her right hand on his desk. "Listen Cher', you've been working very hard since you came back and I think you need to go on a small vacation. It'll give you a new perspective and it just might help with that mood you have going on right now."

"If I want to go on vacation, I want to do it with my family, not yours." Irritated, Booth tried to control his emotions. He didn't want to get on the bad side of Caroline if he could help it. "I'm not trying to be rude, but I was away from my family for four months. I've been home for two and I don't want to go anywhere without them."

Pleased he'd brought up that up, Caroline knew she could talk him into her plan. "There you go, problem solved . . . take them with you. You can go camping with them and spend a day or two making sure Ted comes back alive and we'll all be happy. I'll even arrange it so that the week or two you're gone won't count against your vacation time. I'll make it look like you're working on a case . . . Please Cher', you know I don't beg people for favors, but Ted is the only cousin I have left and I don't want to hear that he's missing and his body has been found two years from now by a hunter."

Worried about her cousin, Booth tapped his finger against the desk. "If he's that risky, I don't want to be around him. He might shoot my head off or Bones or Christine. Nothing doing . . . Besides, if he's your only cousin then how does he have family obligations if they don't involve you or your daughter?"

"He has some distant family on his father's side of the family." Annoyed, Caroline studied the reluctant agent before her and decided she needed to add some pressure. "Okay, I guess it doesn't matter all the favors I've done for you over the years. Lending you my car and you giving it back to me all smashed up, getting you warrants that should have been impossible, but because I'm such a great lawyer you got them anyway . . . That's okay, Cher'. I know you only think of me as a co-worker and not as family even though I think of you as family and that's okay . . . I mean I wouldn't . . ."

Defeated, Booth sighed deeply. "Okay, stop. I'll do it . . . I'll do it as a favor for you if you promise me never to bring up that damn car again. I didn't wreck the damn thing, Russ Brennan ran into it on purpose. Hell, I wasn't even in the car . . ."

Holding up her hand, Caroline interrupted him, "Okay Cher', you got a deal."

"Where's he want to go hunting . . . Virginia?" Curious, Booth wanted to know where he was being exiled to for the next couple of weeks.

Quickly standing, Caroline smiled at her favorite FBI agent. "Michigan."

Surprised, Booth stood up. "Michigan? What do you mean Michigan?"

Moving quickly to the doorway, Caroline opened the dooor and waved her hand. "Ted will call you and make arrangements to meet you somewhere and you can caravan up. Thanks Cher'."

Tricked or at least he felt like he'd been tricked, Booth started to protest again. "Caroline, . . . Caroline, I don't want to go to Michigan . . . " Watching her leave his office Booth sat down and glared at the empty doorway. "Shit! Someday she's going to get a hell of a shock when I tell her 'no' when she wants me to do something for her."

Ooooooooooooooooo

"I can't believe I let Caroline talk me into coming up here to hunt with her cousin." Exasperated, Booth sat on the chair near the door to their motel room and watched Brennan unpack their bags while Christine used the remote control to flip through the channels on their television. "I don't hunt anymore. This is stupid . . . I should have told her no."

While removing her clothes from the bag to place in the dresser, Brennan kept her back towards him trying to hide her smile. His ranting steadily filling the room, she soon found herself laughing quietly.

Concerned when his wife started to shake, Booth realized that she was laughing. Standing up abruptly, he walked over to where she was hovering over their luggage and placed his arms around her. Quietly, he murmured in her ear. "So this is funny?"

Turning in his arms, Brennan placed her arms around his waist and leaned against him. Her voice soft so Christine couldn't over hear, Brennan felt comforted when he held her against his firm body. "I never thought I would enjoy hearing you complaining, but yes . . . I think it is funny. You have been very careful not to fuss around me since you came back home . . . You never raise your voice, you walk out of the room when I'm annoyed and when we start to argue you just . . . you get this look on your face and you walk away from me . . ." Swallowing, Brennan cleared her throat. "I thought you'd . . . I thought you didn't . . . "

Booth heard his own voice quaver as he held her. "I know I've been distant Bones since I came back . . . I'm sorry. It didn't have anything to do with you. It wasn't your fault. I . . . I've had a hard time and I didn't want to . . . I didn't want . . . "

"I want you back, Booth." Leaning her forehead against his shoulder, she breathed in his scent and it calmed her. "You never bicker or argue with me anymore and that isn't you. I know that sounds wrong, but I enjoy it when you don't agree with me. I love it when you fuss at me. It's who you are . . . I thought maybe you didn't want to be with me anymore."

Filled with sadness, Booth placed his cheek against her head and closed his eyes. Trying to keep his voice low, he barely spoke above a whisper, "Bones, I'm sorry. I just . . . I'm sorry. My God I never meant to make you feel like I didn't want you. I . . . I thought I was doing the right thing and I guess I was just making things worse. You're right, I . . . I knew you'd been through so much and our lives have been such a disaster that I wanted to make it better for you. I wanted to be the husband that you deserve and not the mess you got . . . I love you Bones and you deserve someone who . . . someone who isn't so angry all the time. I'm trying to not be that man, but it's so damn hard."

Pulling back to look into his sad face, Brennan continued to speak softly, aware that their daughter was just a few feet away from them. "Booth, I know who I married and that's who I want. I want you to act like you've always acted around me. I want you to be you."

"I'll try Bones." Glancing over at his daughter who was raptly watching a cartoon on the TV, he tried to explain, "I've been so angry about . . . everything and I've been afraid to . . . I've been afraid to let you see it. I don't want you to be afraid of me. I don't want Christine to be afraid of me."

Slowly shaking her head, Brennan assured him, "Booth, you have every right to be angry about what happened to you. You have a right to get angry. You have a right to fuss when you want to. Don't stop being you, please. I want you the way you've always been."

On the verge of tears, Booth tried to change his mood. He didn't want her to be sad and he didn't want to upset his little girl. "A smartass?" He kissed her and smiled.

Returning his kiss, Brennan quipped, "Or a dumbass?"

Laughter his answer, Booth was filled with a sense of relief and kissed her once more.

Ooooooooooooooooooo

Sullenly sitting in Ted's pickup truck, Booth watched the scenery from the side window as Ted drove.

"Mais, tanks for coming hunting wit me." Glancing at his cousin's friend, Ted frowned at the agent. "Caroline says you don't hunt no mo, but you was willing to come wit me and dat's very nice of you."

Not getting a response, Ted shrugged his shoulders. "I won da lottery for da Elk license and mais I couldn't believe my luck, Cher'. Da only have 15 license for da Elk dis year and I won one. I coulda been knocked over by da feather I was so surprised. Mon cousin voulait que je vous invite parce qu'elle est triste que vous avez été traité comme une merde par tout le monde. J'espère que cela ne vous rendent heureux parce qu'elle vous aime et j'aime mon cousin. So anyway, you don't have to hunt wit me. I'm jus happy dat you came wit me so dat I'm not by myself. Tanks Cher'."

Realizing that he should say something, Booth turned to look at Caroline's younger cousin. "Yeah, not a problem. Where do you plan to hunt?"

Pleased that the Fed was finally talking to him, Ted smiled and glanced at him before turning his attention back towards the road. "Mais in dis county. I got 4 days to find one and kill it. If I don't din I don't." Clearing his throat, Ted broached the subject he'd been dreading to bring up. "Um . . . look Cher' . . . I need to drive to Sault St. Marie, Canada. Do you have your passport wit you?"

Startled, Booth stared intently at his companion. "Why do you need to drive to Canada?"

Nonchalantly, Ted pointed over his shoulder with his left hand. "I got something in da back of my truck dat I need to deliver to a second cousin of mine who lives there. I just got to deliver it and come back. I don't plan to stay no."

Reluctant to admit it, Booth finally nodded his head. "Yeah I have it with me, but it's back at the motel. I always travel with my passport."

Pleased to hear the news, Ted reached out and punched Booth's thigh. "Mais, dat's great. We can go tomorra din."

Curiosity eating at him, Booth asked him, "Okay, tell me what you need to deliver to your cousin."

Happy that Booth was cooperating, Ted told him the truth. "Mais, I need to deliver Carlos in a few days. He probably not happy in da cooler."

Feeling his eyes bulging, Booth shifted in his seat to stare at the Cajun. "You have someone in a cooler?"

Laughing, Ted slapped his steering wheel in amusement. "Mais Cher', you funny for sho . . . My egg isn't broken no. Carlos is a gator."

Shocked at the news, Booth couldn't take his eyes off of Ted. "You . . . you have an alligator in a cooler in this truck?"

Ted knew Booth might not understand, so he tried to assure him. "Well, he a little one for sho. He only eighteen inches, but he big enough. T-Fred want da gator for his bar. I said I'd bring him one when I come up, see?"

Slowly shaking his head, Booth tried to advise Ted. "I don't think you can take a gator into Canada. Those people will have a cow if you try."

Surprised, Ted glanced at Booth then back at the road. "You tink so? Mais, I don't see why. It not like Carlos could live up here in da wild. He a cold blooded creature. Gators need da hot temperatures to live. T-Fred built a special case for Carlos to show him off."

Crossing his arms against his chest, Booth shook his head again. "You're crazy as hell if you think they'll let you bring a fucking gator into Canada."

Worried, Ted bit his lower lip. "Mais, dat's a problem din. I made a promise wit T-Fred to bring him one."

Ooooooooooooooooooo

Reviews would be appreciated. Thank you.

A/N: Mon cousin voulait que je vous invite parce qu'elle est triste que vous avez été traité comme une merde par tout le monde. J'espère que cela ne vous rendent heureux parce qu'elle vous aime et j'aime mon cousin. Translation: My cousin wanted me to invite you because she's sad that you were treated like a piece of shit by everyone. I hope this does make you happy because she loves you and I love my cousin.

Calamite = disaster

I hope you are enjoying Ted's Southwestern Louisiana accent. I have a lot of relatives who talk just like he does.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for your interest in my fluffy story.

A/N: This is a reminder that this story takes place in season 10 and is definitely AU.

I don't Bones, Cher'.

Ooooooooooooooooo

_After she entered the house, she saw him lying on the floor, a man with a weapon advancing on him. Picking up a nearby weapon, she shot the man and saw him fall. As she hurried across the room, she was knocked down causing her to fall hard. She tried to turn over quickly, tried to stand and when she finally staggered to her feet, it was in time to see her husband kill the man that meant to kill her. Rushing over to where her husband lay, she rolled him off of the dead assassin and felt for a pulse. Horrified, she didn't feel one. Screaming because he was gone, she clutched his dead body in her arms, crying bitter tears._

"Bones. . . Bones, wake up." Pulling her into his arms, Booth held her tightly and spoke quietly but firmly. "Come on Bones, wake up."

Suddenly awake, Brennan tried to pull out his arms, not understanding what was going on, afraid that her dream was real and that Booth was dead in her embrace.

"Bones. . . . shhhh . . . It's alright, it was just a dream." Keeping her from moving away from him, he help her firmly in his arms.

Relieved to hear his voice, Brennan opened her eyes and stared into the beautiful brown eyes of the man she loved. "Booth . . . Booth." Her arms clutching him against her, she started to renew her crying, the fresh tears added to the tears she'd already spilt while in slumber.

"Shhhhh. . . . Bones, you're alright. I have you." Sad that the woman he loved was in so much pain, he felt his own lashes become wet. "I love you. You aren't alone. Never alone."

Now fully awake, Brennan glanced over at the other bed in the room to make sure that their child was still asleep. Relieved, she returned her gaze back toward Booth's face. Whispering, she apologized to him. "I'm sorry."

Her arms relaxing, her body less tense, Booth rubbed her back. "Don't apologize, Bones. I know you hate that dream where you're locked in the trunk of the car. I hope to God you didn't have that one too many times while I was gone."

Slowly shaking her head, Brennan gentlykissed him."I don't really have that dream anymore, Booth . . . that isn't my worse nightmare anymore."

Growing concerned for her, Booth stopped movind his hand and stared into her soulful blue eyes. "What's worse than being almost killed by those bastards who were supposed to take care of you? You were just a kid."

Shifting her body, she partially lay on him, her left leg thrown over his thighs. "I dreamed that you were killed in the house. I dreamed that I was too late to save you."

Understanding hitting him, Booth tightened his arms around her again. "I'm so sorry, Bones. I've been so caught up in my own nightmare that I never thought that you might be . . . I'm sorry, Bones. I wish that things had been different. Those months that I was alone, you were alone too. I hated knowing that you were alone and I couldn't do anything about it. I promise you that I'll try to never let that happen again. I promise to make sure you're never alone again."

"No, Booth, none of this is your fault. It isn't my fault and it isn't yours." Her eyes closed, Brennan relaxed in his arms. "We're going to get through this Booth. We're strong, stronger that everyone thinks. They thought they could destroy us and they failed. We're strong . . . We're very strong."

Clearing his throat, Booth let her words wash over him. "I love you, Bones. We are strong and we won't let them win. They'll never win."

Oooooooooooooooooooo

The next morning, Booth entered Ted's truck and slumped against the door.

Ted, glanced at his companion and shook his head. "Good morning to you, Cher'." Not getting a response, Ted pulled out into the light traffic. "Mais, did you bring your passport?"

Patting his jacket pocket, Booth reluctantly answered, "Yeah."

"Dat's good." Ignoring the sullen man, Ted popped a CD in his CD player and cranked it up, Thomas Dolby and Beausoleil singing "I love you, Goodbye." Letting the rhythm of the music carry him away, Ted sang along . . . loudly.

Booth turned towards his companion and waited until the song was almost over then reached out and ejected the CD.

Irritated, Ted glared at Booth. "Mais why you do dat? Dey was just getting to da best part."

"What are you going to do about the gator?" When Ted suddenly smirk, Booth became very concerned.

"Mais, I got it figured out, don't worry none. I going to use logic, yeah." Pointing at the radio, Ted glanced at Booth and warnedhim. "Mais, I going to play da radio. Keep you hands to yousef. Da owner of da truck gets to control da radio."

Resigned, Booth sighed. "Fine, just keep it down to a low roar."

Amused, Ted flipped on the radio and settled on a soft rock station. "Dat's da spirit, Booth . . . Just go wit it."

Ooooooooooooooo

The approached the Canadian border and stopped at the checkpoint. Bored, a customs agent approaced them with a clip board in his hand. "Do you have anything to declare?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Ted used his charm smile. "Mais I got some gator meat in da cooler for my cousin what lives in Sault Ste Marie."

Upon hearing that, the man frowned and looked at the back of the truck. "Where is it? Back here?"

Pointing in the back, Ted continued to smile. "In da cooler."

Not bored anymore, Agent Smith walked towards the back of the truck and pointed at the cooler. "You have to have a permit to bring in raw meat." Opening the cooler, the agent stared into the cooler and then jumped back, slamming the lid shut. "That isn't meat, that's a live gator . . . you can't bring that into Canada."

Disappointed, Ted complained, "I just bringing it to my cousin dat owns a bar. And you know, a live gator would just die in da cold. Dey need da heat. I just going across the river, I swear."

Shaking his head adamantly, Agent Smith exerted his authority. "No, no way. You aren't bringing a gator into Canada."

Turning to look at Booth, Ted pleaded with him, "Agent Booth, tell da man dat I just bringing it to my cousin what would take care of it. No live gator could live up here no."

Booth decided to see if he could help and got out of the truck. As he walked to the back of the truck , he looked at the cooler in the bed. "It's some kind of family obligation."

Shaking his head, Agent Smith didn't want to bend any rules for Booth or anyone else. "He can't bring it into Canada. Now I'm going to ask you to go back. If you want to enter Canada then you can, but not with the gator."

Curious, Booth asked him, "What do you want us to do with it?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Agent Smith smiled. "Dump in a river or lake in Michigan, I don't care. It just can't come into Canada."

Insulted, Ted protested., "Hey, I can't do dat. My cousin would be mad at me."

Bored once more, Agent Smith turned and walked away. "Then take it back home."

Resigned, Ted re-entered his truck and turned to look at the customs agent's back. "My cousin going to be really mad at me, just so you know dat."

Unsympathetic agent kept walking. "Oh well."

Sliding back into the truck, Booth advised his friend. "Come on, Ted. You can take him back home where he belongs. Let's go look for your elk, you only have three more days and this one is half done."

Ted was not happy and he knew that he was going to get an earful from his cousin about this mess. "Poor Carlos, he going to be sad he have to go back on da long trip in dat cooler."

"Yeah, poor Carlos." Amused, Booth smiled.

Oooooooooooooooo

Entering the hotel room, Booth grabbed Christine as she flung herself at her father. Raising her up in the air, he laughed and kissed her. "And what have you and Mommy been doing today?"

Her arm around his neck, Christine laughed. "We went shopping, Daddy."

"Well, that sounds cool." Turning towards his wife, he placed his arm around her shoulder. "You know, this vacation isn't such a bad idea. Ted got his elk and he's going home tomorrow. Let's stay the rest of the week and just do whatever sounds interesting."

Surprised at Booth's good mood, Brennan gave him a kiss on the cheek. "That sounds like a wonderful idea." After he released Brennan, he carried Christine over to the chair and sat down. "Great . . . That's great. Maybe we can look for a movie theater and go to the movies tonight. We can find a pizza place and go to the movies and then maybe tomorrow we can drive around and just look at stuff or do whatever you want to do. How's that sound?"

Lifting her arm in the air, his daughter shouted. "Yeah, pizza . . . I like pizza."

Turning to stare at Brennan, Booth made sure she was okay with his choice. "Is that okay?"

His smile so welcoming to her, Brennan felt a warmth spread through her. "It sounds wonderful. . . Why are you in a good mood? Did something happen?"

Understanding Brennan's question, Booth laughed. "I'm happy because I'm not Carlos being kept in a cooler."

Confused, Brennan stared at Booth wondering what in the world he was talking about. "I don't know what that means."

His eyes twinkling, Booth hugged his daughter and cheerfully explained it to her. "It means I'm a free man with a wonderful family and if I want to go to a movie and have pizza with you two then I can." His gaze moving to his wife, Booth solemnly continued, "I'm a lucky man, Bones. I'm lucky that you're in my life and I'm lucky that I have friends that were willing to work their asses off to . . . Sorry. . . I'm lucky to have people that care about me and a wife and partner that was willing to go through heck to help me. I love you, Bones. Never forget that . . . I love you and I'm going to try to be the same guy you fell in love with. I might fail sometimes, but I'm going to try . . . for you. I'm going to get some help. I know I need it and I want to be that man again. I want to be the man you need and fell in love with."

Rubbing her finger under he eye, Brennan smiled as a tear escaped down her cheek. "I love you too Booth and you are the guy I fell in love with. You always were."

Oooooooooooooooo

Asleep, his arms around Brennan, Booth awoke to a rapid knocking on the motel door. Startled, he rolled over, yanked his gun from under his pillow and walked over to the door. Pulling the curtain back just a little, he saw Ted leaning against the door frame. Opening it, Booth hissed at the man. "Do you have any idea what time it is? What the hell do you want?"

Checking his watch, Ted frowned at the time. "Mais it just 9:42, my chickens don't go to bed dis early." Glancing at the gun in Booth's hand, the visitor waved his hand. "I ain't a threat no. I just need to speak at you, Cher'."

Aggravated, Booth placked the gun on the chair near the door and folded his arms against his broad chest. "What do you want, Ted?"

His hands now on his hips, Ted tried to use his charm on Booth. "Mais, I want to try to get Carlos to my cousin T-Fred. I tink I have a plan, yea."

Annoyed, Booth sighed. "What about your elk? Shouldn't you be doing something with that before the meat spoils?"

"Mais, I found a butcher this afternoon." Ted had taken care of his elk and he wanted Booth to understand that. "He going to take care of it for me. He going to butcher it and den mail it to me. Dey do dat sometimes. So anyway, I just need to get Carlos to T-Fred. Will you help me?"

Running his hand through his hair, Booth tried to be patient. "I won't break the law, Ted."

Ted knew Booth was FBI and he had no intention of getting the agent into trouble. Caroline would kill him if he did. "No, I know dat. You a Fed. I just want you to be wit me dats all. Please Cher'."

Turning to look at Brennan, Booth saw her shrug and throw up her hands. Turning back, Booth held up his index finger. "Just one more try, Ted and that's it and I won't break the law to do it either. I'm serious."

Excited, Ted grabbed Booth and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek. "Mais tanks. You da best." Releasing Booth, he laughed. "You need to work on dat mood you in, Cher'. Caroline loves you and now I see why, you nice, tanks." Clapping Booth on the shoulder, Ted walked away.

oooooooooooooooooo

Reviews would be greatly you.

Okay, I know, this was supposed to be just two chapters but some readers want more. I know you're shocked.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for your reviews. I'm glad you liked my fluffy story.

I don't own Bones.

Oooooooooooooooo

Sitting in Alice's Restaurant, Booth and Brennan were enjoying a pancake breakfast when their daughter folded her arms across her chest and glared at her father. "I don't like these pancakes, Daddy. They don't look right."

Amused, Booth patted her shoulder. "Baby, not everyone puts smiley faces on pancakes."

His daughter continuing to fuss, Booth pulled her from her bumper seat and sat her on his lap. "What's wrong, Sweetheart?"

Clinging to her father, Christine whined. "I want to go home, Daddy."

Not really sure what was going on, Booth rubbed her back, looked towards his puzzled wife then down at his daughter. "I thought you were having fun, Baby. After we eat breakfast Mommy and you are going to have a lot of fun today. She's going to drive you to Sault Ste. Marie in Canada and you're going to go on a train ride. You love trains."

Leaning on the table, Brennan tried to sound excited for her daughter. "It's a day long tour. It looks very scenic. We'll even get to see a waterfall."

A waterfall sounded good, but she was still unhappy. "I want Daddy to come with us, Mommy."

His arms pulling her into a hug, Booth stared at Brennan. "Maybe I should cancel with Ted. He can . . . "

"No, Booth." Brenan interrupted him. "No, you need to help Ted finish his task. It will please Caroline that you helped him with his family obligations and I think that's important . . . She was very supportive while you were gone and I don't think you should disappoint her cousin."

Reaching for his cup of coffee, Booth stared at the dark brew inside. "I do owe her . . . besides if this goes right she promised to quit bringing up that damn . . . sorry, darn car of hers that your brother wrecked. She still blames me for that sh . . . what happened." Turning his attention back to his daughter, Booth made her a promise. "Daddy has to do something today for Auntie Caroline's cousin, but I promise you that we'll do something tomorrow. Heck we may even just go back home. Your Auntie Caroline gave your Daddy two weeks to play with and I sure never promised her that I would use all those days to help her crazy cousin."

Amused, Brennan laughed. "I can't believe he thinks he can get an alligator into Canada." Her laugh turning into a glum expression, she sighed. "It seems cruel to make the alligator stay in a cooler though. It can't be very comfortable."

Rolling his eyes, Booth complained, "I can't believe I agreed to help him today. God knows what he's going to do."

"Daddy, can we have pizza tonight?" Her hopeful expression melting Booth's heart, he smiled at her. "If you want pizza then that's what we'll have. We're on vacation so I guess it doesn't matter that we had pizza last night."

Resigned to a poor diet for the next few days, Brennan sighed. "I'll see if they have some antipasto."

Laughing, Booth winked at his wife. "There you go . . . everyone gets what they want."

Oooooooooooooo

As he patiently stood outside his motel room, Booth watched as Ted pulled his truck up next to him. Walking around the vehicle, Booth opened the passenger door and slid into the cab of the truck. "Okay, James Bond, how do you plan to get Carlos into Canada?"

"Pooyie, Cher', I love dat James Bond." Pulling out onto the road, Ted gushed. "Mais, I loved his movie, 'Skyfall'. Dat was a great movie."

Booth was suddenly leary about Ted's evasion. Turning, he snapped his fingers near the man's face. "Ted, concentrate man . . . how do plan to get Carlos into Canada?"

"Cher', you worry too much." Careful, Ted passed a slow moving vehicle and then pulled back into his lane. "I talked to T-Fred last night and he come up wit a plan. You see."

His eyes on the road ahead, Booth reminded his friend about his number one rule. "Nothing illegal, Ted."

Shrugging his shoulders, the happy man turned on his radio. "Don't worry you sef none."

"Look, Ted, I don't think I like you just traveling around with a gator in a cooler." Crossing his arms, Booth gave his companion a hard stare. "It's a mean thing to do. I told Bones about it and she doesn't think you're treating the thing right and neither do I."

Rolling his eyes, Ted slowed his truck and pulled it into a gas station. After he parked it near the street, he turned off the engine and turned to look steadily at Booth. "I need to show you something." Getting out of the truck, Ted waited next to the bed of the truck.

Curious, Booth exited the truck and walked over to where Ted was standing.

Opening the lid of the cooler, Ted smiled. "Mais, watch dis." Making sure Booth was looking into the cooler, Ted reached in and poked the gator on the eye.

Surprised that the gator didn't move, Booth reached in and picked the gator up by the tail. To his surprise, the gator was light and definitely not alive.

Slapping his hand on the truck bed, Ted roared with laughter. "Mais da look on you face . . . so funny."

Angry and trying to keep from hitting the man, Booth dropped the gator back in the cooler. "What the fuck is going on?"

Closing the cooler, Ted made sure the lid was on tight. Suddenly serious, Ted leaned against the truck and watched the passing traffic. "Caroline heard about my luck wit the lottery for da elk and asked me to do her a favor. We had to tink about how to play it and I came up wit dis one. It didn't work like I thought it would. I thought da border agent would confiscate it but he turned me back, so I had to tink of something else. Caroline was not happy Cher'. She call me a cowan and dat not nice no. I promised her dat I get the job done but I have to do it today."

Confused, Booth shook his head. "Just tell me what the hell is going on, Ted."

Shrugging his shoulders, Ted sighed. "Da State Department wants to bring in some guy from somewhere for dat political asylum but it need to be done quietly and not be on da news. You know how reporters are. Anyway, I got to deliver some paper work and some other stuff to da embassy in Canada so dat person can come across da border without the reporters noticing. The State Department don't want to use anyone attached to dem, so da reporters or da spies won't notice what is going on. I thought Carlos would make dem concentrate on some foolishness and not check my truck for nothing else. Sort of da clown what is harmless, but dat agent didn't follow his job closely, the lazy bastard. He probably didn't want to deal wit da paperwork da catin."

Moving back to the front of the truck, Ted opened the front driver's side door and slid back onto the front seat. Annoyed, Booth reentered the truck and turned towards Ted. "What are you going to do?"

His bright smile lighting up his face, Ted winked at Booth. "My cousin T-Fred is going to help. You see."

Booth didn't want to get into trouble with the State Department or Caroline, but he was so tired of being used. "Why am I involved?"

Patting Booths knee, Ted told him the truth. "Caroline love you and she sad you sad. She want to give you something fun to do and she know I a happy person so she thought you come wit me might make you less sad. See? Tings were bad for you Cher, but you family loves you. Caroline considers you family and since she my cousin dat make you my family too. Okay?"

Proud that Caroline loved him enough to consider him family, Booth felt his sadness recede, at least for awhile. "Thanks man."

Oooooooooo

After he parked his truck across from Soo Brewing, Ted patted Booth's knee. "Okay . . . now Cher' just act natural and everything be fine."

Reluctantly, Booth exited the truck and watched the man reach into the cooler, take Carlos out and place him into a sports bag.

Holding it up, Ted winked at Booth. "Okay Cher'. It's almost done, yeah."

His hands shoved into his pants pockets, Booth followed Ted across the street and into the brewery. Ted, spying someone standing just inside the entrance, waved and then rushed over to the man. Placing the bag down, Ted grabbed the younger man and lifted him off his feet. "Mais Cher', I told you we'd come and here we are."

Laughing T-Fred rubbed the top of Ted's head. "Let me down you idiot."

Happy to oblige, the Louisianan dropped his cousin and turned towards Booth. "Dis is T-Fred."

"Well, I was hoping it was someone you knew." Booth frowned at the exuberant man.

Tickled, Ted reached over and slapped Booth on the shoulder. "You so funny. I gots to tell you dat, Man." Reaching down and picking up his bag, he handed it to T-Fred. "Here you go, Cher'. I appreciate you doing dis for me."

A smirk on his face, T-Fred took the bag, glanced at Booth then back at his cousin. "Okay, you ready?"

A little alarmed, Booth shook his head, wanting to know what was about to happen. "Ready for what?"

Turning towards Booth, T-Fred gripped the bag firmly in his hand. "I knew he wouldn't tell you . . . Look Man, I run a bar and sometimes I like to serve beer from this micro-brewery. I have permits and contracts that allow me to buy and sell certain beers and liquor, but I like to support the area micro-breweries not just the big ones. I can legally bring into Canada 24-12 ounce cans or bottles of beer free of duties and taxes. This brewery sells a growler of beer that's 64 ounces. That means I can bring in 7 of them. Now me, you and Ted can buy 7 each that will give me 21 bottles for my bar and that will last me for a while. Okay?"

Annoyed, Booth placed his hands on his hips. "You mean we have to buy beer and drive it across the border for you?"

Shrugging his shoulder, T-Fred smiled. "Hey, I said I'd get Ted's stuff across on my own and deliver it today so that means Ted owes me a favor. The beer is his obligation."

His gaze back on his friend, Booth noticed Ted holding his hands up in prayer. "Fine."

Jubilant, Ted hugged and kissed Booth on the cheek, much to the annoyance of the FBI agent. Placing his hands on Ted's upper arms, Booth pushed him away. "Ted, for God's sake, quit hugging me and kissing me."

Laughing, Ted stepped back. "Don't worry yourself none no. I'm a happy married man."

"That's beside the point." Holding up his hand, Booth shook it in Ted's face. "Shake my hand if you have to, but quit hugging me."

Yanking his cousin's arm, T-Fred growled at the man. "Leave the man alone, you couillon. Let's buy the beer and hit the road. My wife is running the bar by herself today and she isn't happy with me or you. I'm going to have to buy her something to get back into her good graces. You tell Caroline I'm sending her the bill for whatever it is too."

Amused, Ted taunted his cousin. "Pic kee toi" and followed his cousin with Booth bringing up the rear.

Oooooooooooo

Arriving at the border, Booth was aware that the customs agent they'd seen during their first attempted crossing was the same on approaching them now. Silently praying to St. Jude, the saint for lost causes, Booth asked that everything go right for once.

Wary, Agent Smith saw Booth and Ted and swore to himself. "You don't have that alligator with you . . . do you?"

Shaking his head, Ted appeared Angelic. "Mais no, Cher'. He gone."

Not sure he believed Ted, Agent Smith peered into the back of the truck. "I'm going to look in the cooler, if you don't mind."

Shrugging his shoulder, Ted continued to smile. "Go ahead Cher'. We got beer, but we know we can bring in 7 of doze bottles each yeah and dat's all we got to declare."

Mindful of what happened the last time, Smith carefully lifted the lid on the cooler and looked inside. Satisfied, he dropped the lid and came back to the front of the truck. "Okay . . . What did you do with the alligator?"

Ted licked his lips and lied. "Oh . . . I done made a sauce piquante. Mais, he tasted good too."

Disgusted, Agent Smith shook his head. "I don't want to know . . . Have a safe trip, Sir."

Happy that T-Fred's plan was working, Ted put his truck into drive and moved back onto the highway. Once they were on the way, he glanced at Booth. "Happy now?"

Blowing air slowly through his lips, Booth finally responded. "Ecstatic . . . Why did you put Carlos in the bag? Is T-Fred going to display him in the bar or not?"

Amused, Ted slapped his steering wheel and chortled. "Mais, T-Fred is delivering him to da embassy along wit da papers and stuff. Da can give Carlos a good home."

Laughing, Booth shook his head at Ted. "You couillon."

Ooooooooooooooo

Sitting on the bed, watching a rerun of "Lost", Booth heard the door unlocked and then saw the motel room door open.

Christine, spying her father as she walked into the room, ran over to the bed and waited for her father to pull her on to his lap. Kissing him, Christine hugged him. "Hi, Daddy."

Pleased to see his family back, Booth kissed her cheek. "Hi yourself, Sweetheart."

Brennan closing the door behind her, walked over to the bed, took off her shoes and slid across the bed until she was sitting next to her husband. Leaning over she kissed him. "How was your day?"

Returning her kiss, Booth let his lips linger for a moment on her soft lips before pulling back. "I helped bring beer into Canada so Ted's cousin could sell it at his bar. T-Fred took Carlos into Canada and I didn't ask how he got it there. I heard he's going to give it to someone else. Let's just say it's complicated and I'll tell you more about it tonight."

Tired, Brennan yawned and leaned against him. "Why don't we sleep late tomorrow and then start back home before Ted finds something else for you to do?"

Settling Christine between them, Booth leaned back against the headboard of the bed. "Fine by me. That guy is crazy. I know one thing . . . I dare Caroline to bring up that car of hers ever again."

Her eyes closed, Brennan was curious so asked him, "What if she does?"

Unable to prevent it, Booth yawned and shook his head. "She's Caroline, I won't do a damn thing, pardon my French."

Ooooooooooooo

What did you think of my fluff fest? Were you surprised about Carlos? Covalent Bond figured out something else was going on early and that there was a hidden story in the story.

Couillion = idiot

Pic kee toi = intercourse you (Fuck you)

Sauce piquante = a dish that can be made from alligator or turtle and served over rice. It's delicious.


End file.
